The pieces are into place but this blog is going to connect the dots for all of us.

I know for a fact that it isn't just me who wants a baby right now...that "they" are the reason my brain and body don't sync up.
In my brain I know it isn't the right time to have a baby, that I want more things squared away in my life so that I can devote everything to my child in the future.  Right now I just want to be a little bit selfish and have money to spend on a house and making it the perfect nest for us.  
I want to go to Europe and be debt free. Not in that order of course. 
I want to have a house of our own that we can make perfect.  I want to paint the walls, buy new furniture....just be married for a while.  Enjoy sleeping in because SWEET JESUS I LOVE SLEEPING IN. 
I want to enjoy being successful in my business and life for an extended period of time.  I want to avoid being torn down by my health, an accident, a life changing event and the like...
I just want to live my life for a change, just my life, not what's left after a giant catastrophe.
I'm good, great even, at taking the fragments of a life and putting them back together into something worthwhile yet humble.  But I don't want to play "Let's make the best of it"...I want things to be about "us" for a while.


I want the girls to focus on their lives right now, not on creating a life.
As it is...I have issues that need to be dealt with, I don't feel it's fair to bring a child into the world until they have been.
I've decided a few things, actually me and "the girls".
No baby right now...it can wait a while.
The goal right now is to pay off the small amount of remaining debt and then buy a house.
Set down roots north of where we live right now.  I don't want to move out of this state right now because things are just now starting to become lucrative for me again.  Why start over again ? Right now? When I don't HAVE to? No. No thank you.  We can reevaluate moving ideas if something in our lives changes that forces us to look at moving as an option but for now we're staying here.
Target smaller area for work and meet my goal of booking a client every week within 14 months. Spend every single day with my horse once he's moved closer work through his issues.

I really feel like things have been sorted out and resolved at this point.  Time to take a deep breath and relax. 




-Divided Mind-