Hello lovers.
Quite a lot has happened in the past couple of months.
My business is booming (thank god)so I've hardly had any time to do anything for myself.
The "girls" and I went to visit our friends from my hometown and had a great time. They love hanging out with my best friend since they're so bonded to him, it's always been a constant balancing act between their emotions and mine...sometimes I feel like I'm going to be crushed under the pressure. But lately things have been rather manageable considering that in the past I didn't make it to work on time, I was "outed" regularly by my alters, all of it was incredibly stressful.
On a good note, my relationship with my husband is better than ever. I can confidently say that I love him even more than the day I married him which I thought to be impossible. We're so happy together and I'm comforted by him and his gentle nature in times of strife. Our one year anniversary is next weekend and I can't believe it's already been a whole year! I guess I'm not a newlywed anymore...but I am happily married.
I had been getting calls from my mom and when she finally left a message I decided to call her back.
I'm glad I did though emotionally it was hard to process everything she told me.
I found out that my Aunt tried killing herself on my birthday this year (my dad's sister), and then her son (his nephew) tried killing himself a couple of weeks ago...sliced his wrists to the bone...now the doctors say he'll never have the use of his hands again. :( As for his mom, my aunt...she's incoherent...no one can reach her...the loss of my grandmother in June crushed her. My grandmother and her lived in the same house together for her entire life...so not having my grandmother there with her is extremely traumatic for her...really for all of us.
On top of that...my father has been diagnosed with cancer...and from all the stress of his family dying around him one by one all in the same year...and the fact that I'd stopped talking to them..his job tried getting him to quit...the combination of everything just caused him to lose grip of his life...he just lost it...
He's now getting wasted every night just like he used to do when I was a kid...comes home piss drunk unable to function.
If he doesn't kill himself he could kill someone else by drinking and driving. I'm scared for him. I love him...and I need my Dad. I'm not ready to lose him...not now...not yet.
Please pray for him. I have a feeling we're going to need all the help we can get.
I'm going to call my Dad today...to catch up with him and offer some support...as I know he needs someone to help him through all of this and I'm his only daughter...his only child...and he does care about having me in his life.
This is just the first step...I'm so much stronger than I was 6 months ago, I feel I've grown more in the past 6 months than in the past 2 years...and I'm ready to have a different family dynamic. I love my parents and I want all of us to have a loving, supportive relationship.
-Divided Mind-
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