It seems as if in the past few days my life has just been a jumbled mess of what the fuck soup.
To start off my week right...I was trying to get the house cleaned up and settled prior to my surgery. This being my last week of work was going to be a tad sad for me as well already due to the fact I will not be physically able to go back to work for about three months. Which for me, is difficult #1 because my company is my "baby" and I absolutely LOVE my job & #2 because being a dog trainer that focuses solely on a family and their dog in their home it can be quite lucrative and I'm a fan of the green paper we trade around for modern day goods. That being said, I do need a break if I'm being honest with myself.
My dad recently had alot of biopsies done and found out that the tests were all negative thank God. But, my uncle who just got done taking care of my other uncle who just died of cancer, HAS cancer himself...and it's in the later stages. Not good. And he has 3 young kids...the eldest is only about...20? To me that's young at least.
I just hate that my family is going through all of this and I wish they could just get a break...a reprieve from everything.
That being said I made it through the week.
One day during this week though I was receiving texts from my friend who I haven't seen since I've been back from my trip.
I told her almost every day that I would like to see her whenever she has some time because she'd told me she'd been working overtime lately. Each time she told me she was busy or couldn't for some reason and I just gave up to be honest. I'm just not one of those people who really is going to bother chasing someone to spend time with them, frankly, I've got better shit to do.
Well, being that I'm the social person that I am, I go and hang out with other people and of course, my husband, just going about my life. I'd read things on facebook like "going out with (blank)to the movies" or "got my hair done" or something...whatever.
The next day my friend and I went house hunting because we're both considering renting/buying a new place in the same area together.
Well this other girl had a problem with that and I definitely caught her tone on facebook when she read my post about being excited to move and she was like "good for you" which if she was actually happy for me would have been accompanied by several exclamation points. I couldn't believe she was actually bothered by the fact I would be doing something better for my family, and if you're my friend you're going to support that because you love me. I mean, people move, it doesn't mean I wouldn't see you, hell at the rate we're now going I'd probably see you more this way. But she couldn't be happy for me because it's farther away from her. I swear it's like being in a relationship with a chick that I'm not boning.
Anyway, while out with one of my best friends (the same one I went house hunting with) and her son eating dinner I began receiving texts from this other girl friend of mine freaking out because I wasn't hanging out with her. Um, no. Because you told me you were busy. Duh. One text became two and so on and so on...basically writing the entire time I was at dinner while I wasn't saying anything in response because I was just shocked.
Mind you, every friend I have has warned me about this girl saying she was super clingy and they thought she was a nut case. I was always defending her because yeah she's naieve but I just didn't really feel like she was a bad person.
Well, when we got back to my friend's house while she was putting her son to bed I called my friend asking her basically what the fuck was wrong with her and what set her off and most of the time just repeating her name over and over trying to get her to chill the eff out. After hearing that she basically was just jealous I was hanging out with someone besides her. I tried explaining to her why this behavior was out of control and why it isn't her business who I hang out with because I have a life that goes beyond her. Then she told me that my behavior had become "erratic" and she "didn't know what was wrong with me but I didn't need to spend all that time" with my friend and her son because he wasn't even my nephew. I was like "well you're being crazy right now and so I'm going to let you go and I'll call you tomorrow once you've calmed down" her response?"That's just the drugs talking" and hung up.
Are you fucking kidding me bitch? First of all I am not "on" drugs, my behavior is anything but erratic, I go to work, take care of my husband, hang out with my friends, take care of my house, pay bills...you know, grown up stuff.
This friend by the way, lives with her parents, doesn't pay rent, and her parents are literally insane, hate everyone, trust no one, and even my friend can't stand them...but all the sudden she's "hanging out" with them. My point is, she's not out in the real world where adults have priorities and obligations and life is expensive...
I was shocked she would even say things that were first mean and second way the fuck out of line. She'd overtexted, she's overreacted, but being a fucking asshole intentionally? not normally.
The next day she tried telling me that she was just drunk...hmm at 6p.m. ? Wouldn't that mean you're the one with the erratic behavior? And substance abuse issues? Oh wait, that's a lie because you have no one to go out drinking with because you're underage and your parents would never be cool with you drinking at their house. Nice try acting like you were just some out of control drunk bitch, because I haven't forgotten all the shit you said about not being able to throw up (because of a surgery she got when she was young), that's why you don't get drunk. I was just like yeah well a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts. She wasn't taking responsibility for what she did/said, she was just trying to pass the buck yet again acting like a victim. Mind you, all of this was completely unprevoked, the day before this happened she had asked me to feed her horses (which is a 1 hr process) and I did as a favor to her.
Well, regardless, every day this week I had been reminding her about this movie that was coming out friday that we had been planning to go see opening night together for over a month. Well, friday in the morning I texted her and basically confirmed with her that we were still going to go she said yes, we agreed on 8p.m. but then she said it would be packed so I was like okay do you want to go later? And she said no because she had work early in the morning...I was like "okay well I guess we'll go at 8 then".
I needed a nap because I had a horrible migraine but I set my alarm for 7 and went to bed.
I woke up promptly at 7 and texted her and was like "so what time do you want to meet there?" no response. So I call, the first time I call it goes straight to voicemail, the second time it just rang and rang.
About 20 minutes go by and I send a text saying that I'll just leave now and meet you there. Then she texts me back saying that she didn't think we were going to go so she made other plans with someone else. I sent a text saying wow. i told you 8. wow. I was PISSED. Then I told her as much and that it was bullshit that she didn't even have the balls to call me and say she made other plans or text me or even answer MY calls because she was too chicken shit to deal with it. I told her we had these plans for a month and she knew it and bailed, once again. I am just done. Soooo done.
She acts like a sheltered little teenager who's so immature and has probably had a stick up her ass since I've been back because she didn't come on a trip with me that I invited her to go to and SHE told me she couldn't go. I told her that I have never done anything like that to her and she knew we had plans and to stop acting as if it was just a miscommunication and not her being a fucking bitch.
I'm at a point in my life where I simply just don't have time for stupid high school shit like that. I'm an adult, with a business, with a family, and with obligations none of which concern you.
So I'm not going to play along, I simply don't have the time or the energy to waste and for what? Someone who hasn't bothered to make a point to hang out with me in a month? Who's being judgmental and fucking wrong I might add? No. Fuck you.
She wanted me to wait to see the movie with her today as if she was going to pencil me in to her very busy life. hah. right. No bitch. I'm going to go see it with my husband because it's Friday night and that's what my plan has been for over a month so I apologize that my world once again doesn't revolve around you and yours.
The funniest part about all of this is that me and the friend I HAVE been hanging out with were nothing but good friends to this girl who's now treating us both like shit. But eventually, she'll have to look around and she's going to notice she's got no friends and her family still sucks and want her to live at home with them forever. So yeah, peace out dude.
This morning my husband asked me if I was still upset about what happened last night, my simple and honest answer was no that it simply wasn't important enough to keep on my radar or become stressed over. He complimented me today on how much calmer I seemed which made me smile because I used to be rather uptight and I'll admit that caused me to get upset much more easily than I do now. I consider myself to be more of a pacifist now just because I know better than most how important time is and I just need to make now, my present, everything I want it to be because tomorrow might never happen for me.
I'm simply happier and relaxed person, I'm at peace with things and the truth of the matter is, nothing is that pressing, nothing is THAT important, just breathe.
Namaste Bitches.
-Divided Mind-
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